It’s been 3 whole days without you.
The radio is still echoing your songs each and every hour, and with them the realization that you are no more is settling in.
It’s weird, you know… the sense of familiarity to someone you’ve never met in your life. the deep sense of loss as though you’re an actual close family member.
It’s weird, but then it’s really not, when you think about it. you’ve been there with me on lazy saturday mornings while dad was reading lots of newspaper and mom was drinking lots of coffee.
You’ve been there when I graduated from highschool ready to fly away from my nest.
You’ve been there when I was in the army, laying about with one leg here and the other leg there.
You were there waking me up, and you were there laying me to sleep, with your voice and your words and that little crooked grin.
You were there singing this song right here when I first fell in love. You were there with the same song when I lost that love, comforting and making me strong.
So yeah… maybe not so weird, this sadness right now, as I’m listening to your voice and looking at your smile. maybe this pain that burns from the chest upwards, making all these tears fall down in hopes of putting out this fire, is completey natural.
Because you are family. Because you’ve been there when it was the most important to be there, but also when it wasn’t important at all.
So I’m not going to feel weird anymore about crying so much. I can’t think of a better reason or a better person to cry over.
I hope you’re singing to all of them up there where there aren’t any language barriers, or pride, or hate. I know they’re all listening to you quietly and marvelling at the sound of your voice echoing your soul’s purity. I know we are all doing the same down here.